There are just some looks that should be outlawed! Steer clear of these fashion don'ts! Your friends and neighbors will thank you.
Matted, webbed cranial eels look sci-fi frightening and scream to the world "I've lived in a cave without a hairbrush since Bob Marley died".
Cute groomed dreadlocks can be adorable, unique and expressive. No brush, doesn't mean no fuss... tended dreads will keep you office appropriate and socially celebrated.
A punch of color is a plenty! Too much and you look like you just escaped a clown car.
Remember, colorful tops look richer when paired with crisp neutrals and earth tones. And when going bold, choose one or two bright colors max for high voltage style.
White hosiery with black shoes looks like a cross between Minnie Mouse and Florence Nightingale! Never a good look, even with pants but especially with a casual polo dress!
Bare legs and ballerina flats are a win-win with a casual dress. If hosiery is required choose nude or a dark color when wearing dark shoes!
Hear ye! Hear ye! Your butt should not be a billboard! Cooley’s should be salutation, declaration, suggestion and advertisement FREE!
Bad denim treatment can be booty-vicious! Highlighting your assets is one thing, but looking like you sat in bleach is another.
Be sure to check your rear view before you leave the fitting room. Any "butt treatment" should be subtle and make your bottom look plump and peachy not big and bleachy!
Most of us don't need bold horizontal lines highlighting how wide we are! Stripes are a very powerful design that should to be used strategically!
The best stripes build shape, redirect the eye and enhance your silhouette. Choose stripes that are vertical or diagonal for the most figure flattering look.
Snow cones should be sweet childhood memories, not the shape of your britches! Tapered pants and capris are big bottom builders
A straight leg trouser with a wider waist band, slanted front pockets and no pleats create a long lean shape that will rock your style!
Plaids and prints on the posterior make for prickly pants predicaments. With this much patterned "ca-Pow" on the cooley one expects clown shoes to anchor the ensemble! Your pants should never look like they were designed by Ringling Brothers.
Flattering plaid pants offer subtle visual texture and don't colorfully declare the radius of your lower half! If you can't get away with wearing the plaid as an earth-toned neutral, it's too much print for your bottom!
A long double breasted blazer with hulking shoulder pads, wide sleeves and straight pockets is a recipe for a masculine looking mess!
Feminine blazers should end at the hip bone, offer shape through the waist, have fitted sleeves and a balanced lapel. If Bugsy Segal would have worn in…you shouldn't!
Big bad boobie pockets (with honkin’ flaps no less) give you beastly blouse baggage? Think about it... Do you really need to store things in this area?
No matter how many times you see it, it's still NOT okay! This sloppy fashion flub tells the world you've given up! Socks and sandals are simply not worn by strong, powerful, feminine ladies. Com'on Hot Stuff... you know better!
These are rubber GARDEN slippers not Sunday-Goin-To-Meetin'-Shoes. If red CROCS are your "dress-up" pair... it's time to get a clue and get your foot back in a shoe!
Comfy can be ladylike!
Square back pockets with waving FLAPS, make for square butts and wide flappedy looking hips!
Contoured pockets, minus the flaps make for ripe, round lookin’ tushies! Choose your pockets wisely!!!
Where do I begin?... hmmm... lets focus on the ruffles! Rows and rows of horizontal ruffles (or details of ANY KIND!) across your bottom is NEVER a good idea!
Ruffles add volume and are best when used vertically or diagonally to elongate and add feminine detail to the upper body. The rump should not be ruffled!
For the record... if your tootsies hit the street, literally, your sandals don't fit! Toe overhang is T.A.C.K.Y.!
Make sure your toes are neatly captured in your sandals. As a general rule you want about a half inch (a pinky nail's worth) of room at the heel and toe of your sandal to insure proper fit!
Something to consider when buying white britches! Seeing the outline of the pockets through the pants looks really tacky; and if the pockets are sewn on the side of the pants (cargo) at the widest part of your thigh... it looks EVEN WORSE! This combo is a fashion disaster!
Choose white pants that are lined or made of a heavier weight fabric to ensure no pocket peek-a-boo!
A big white bra strap is NOT a fashion accessory! It's called underwear for a reason!
Your bra wardrobe should include a nude racer-back or convertible bra that allows you to effortlessly wear any style top. Don't get caught playing peek-a-boo with your straps... it ain't cute!
This "Coin Slot" is OUT OF ORDER! Nobody wants to see the revealing introduction to your cooley! To make sure your junk isn't peaking out of your trunk, choose jeans and trousers with waistbands that frown in the back offering a bit more coverage... and yank'em up before you take a seat – Pretty Please!
I firmly believe AND teach that you can wear any eye shadow color you like; the application is the key... BUT... smearing blue eye shadow all over your eye lid is NOT good application! (This lipstick is atrocious too!)
When in doubt, stick with beautiful earth tone eye shadows that contour, shape and highlight your peepers. Remember, your eye shadow should enhance the shape and color of your eyes NOT scream, I LEARNED TO PUT ON MY MAKEUP WHEN I WAS 8!
Holy hootie! What a wad of fake hair! These banana clipped bundles tend to push the limits of believability... to say the least! If you are going to snap on some locks, be as realistic as possible with the length, thickness and color!
Remember, a regular ol' ponytail loosely fastened at ear level will always look classic and beautiful.
As a general rule, the smaller the leopard print, the tackier it looks... and the bigger you look in it! This woman, a PETITE SIZE 8, looks like she is being attacked by furry bees, not like she sporting a chic leopard print!
Larger leopard prints have implied value; they look richer and more sophisticated! You can easily spend less on a larger leopard print and have it look like you spent much more. So, as in many things in life... Bigger is better... when it comes to leopard!
Leggings should never be worn as pants!
Consider leggings as modern tights. They are to be layered under skirts and dresses... not worn to the grocery store with a crop-top and sneakers!
Helllloooo... is there a beautiful woman under this baggy, shapeless, masculine, fleece-tent? These horrible, oversized, sweatshirts add 40 pounds and smother any glimmer of feminine shape!
Your weekend wear should excite and energize you to have fun... not to mention help you look fabulous. Choose active wear that creates shape through the waist and contains Lycra or Spandex. It's just as easy to throw on a flattering active jacket as it is a fleece blob!
Tight low rise jeans, heavy belts and tiny tees put your pooch on parade! This unflattering look has got to go!
The best way to avoid waistline spillage is to choose pants with a comfortable waistband that frowns in back and smiles in the front. This style trick will insure that your natural waist is captured without adding to the length of the rise!
Super long nails are simply scary!
In fashion, manicures are supposed to play second fiddle to the rest of your look. Simple and soft is always a best bet!
A bulky sweater fasted above the bust is the worst. It flattens the girls, widens your middle and creates a visual triangle in the center of your body that says "look at my big booty!"
Sweaters, jackets or any second layer should always be fastened under the bust and not above it. The goal is to create a flattering hourglass by nipping it at the waist. If you only button above the bust you will distort your desired shape!
High waisted, light colored jeans with small pockets placed high on the hip is a recipe for a denim debacle!
Opt for darker, more sophisticated denim that sits just below the waist. Look for larger back pockets, placed lower and centered on the tush for the most flattering fit.
We thought we were so cute in the 90's, sporting our high ponytails and overalls... Let's face it... we weren't! Overalls make our "ALLS" look huge! They widen our middle, add bulk to our tummy, flatten our bottoms AND our boobs and make us look like dudes! If overalls are still your weekend wear, quit it!
Roman ankle straps wrapped high on the leg tend to rank high on the "Hoochie" scale; not to mention make your legs look shorter and a little like bound Italian sausage!
Keep your ankle straps wrapped close to your ankles for a much more flattering look!
Hiding under oversized tops actually makes you look larger than you really are. No matter your size, a fitted blouse that offers shape and femininity is a much better choice. The most flattering tops should not extend more than three to five inches past your hipbone, depending on your height.
See?
There is nothing worse than Visible Panty Lines (VPL). If you hate thongs and refuse to go commando, perhaps you could try Spanx or Legg's Body Beautiful Smoothers as an alternative foundation garment. Whatever you do, make sure you check your rear view before heading out the door!


Dark liner with chalky light lipstick looks dated and down right horrible. When devotees to the look are asked WHY?…they claim to believe the combo makes their lips look fuller…Oh contraire! It actually looks like you forgot something or worse like you’ve been eating a messy chocolate bar.


When it comes to lip liner go with a nude or a shade that matches your lipstick. If you are looking for a fuller pout, just add clear lip-gloss to the center of the bottom lip. Lip-gloss will effect the longevity of your lipstick and is not needed all over the lips… a dab on the bottom lip will do ya!
Theme clothing is ok for children or a costume party, but adults should steer clear of stacked doggie cardigans, Mickey Mouse jackets, Santa Sweaters and Halloween vests. These things just look frumpy and ridiculous.
A great V-Neck sweater in a vibrant festive color is a much better choice! Be sure to choose a sweater that skims the body and offers shape and not bulk!
If any of these acid washed throwbacks, circa 1986, are still hanging in your closet….it is time to let go! Please! Just let go!
A fitted pre-washed denim blazer that offers a feminine silhouette is a much better choice.
Frankenstein was a big green dim witted monster that lived in the movies….why would you want to wear his shoes? There is nothing feminine, modern or attractive about these thick soles or stacked heels! Quit it!
An updated mid-heel loafer offers a modern substitution. These would be perfect with jeans, cords, or trousers.
Fanny packs are not your friend! The term alone should be an indicator, but incase you are hesitant to cast off these waist bags, let me be more clear. When worn in the back they add junk to your trunk and when worn in the front they add pounds to your pooch!
A streamlined structured backpack is a much more flattering hands free alternative!
Oh Baby, Baby…Midriff tops are done!!!! Stick a fork in them, pull down your shirt and ship back that useless Ab Master while you can still get a refund!
This is much more sophisticated and still playful!
They may be easy and comfortable for lounging around the house or a quick trip to the store, but these sweatpants only add bulk to your lower half
Try a yoga or running-style pant instead.  You still get the simplicity of just pulling them on, but the straight leg and lighter weight fabric will create a much more figure friendly look.
Uh…don’t wear white bras!  Since the dawn of the nude bra, white bras have become a needless embarrassment! White bras under black tops look bad, but white bras under white tops can look even worse; especially if they have visible lace detailing. 

Really, seamless nude and seamless black bras are all you need for everyday!

 

 
Good golly what a monstrosity! This shoulder bag screams "LOOK AT MY BUTT!" It brings all of the emphasis to your bottom! Visually, a bag hanging at this length adds girth to your hips.

The lesson to be learned here, (besides fringe is heinous!) is that it's much more flattering to wear a shoulder bag in the curve of your waist.

 

 
Okay ladies, when a top comes with a bust seam, you should wear it/place it at the base of your bra. If the bust seam doesn't fit under your bosom, this is NOT the top for you! The bust seam should help "present the girls!" Get it?

 

I rest my case!

 
How can I put this gently... The label on the sleeve of your coat is to be removed after purchase. The label was placed there for your shopping convenience. It is not intended to be an accessory nor an enhancing detail!
Now tell me, do you see how this jumper flattens your bust and widens your hips? You don't want to do that, do ya? There are other comfortable options. This is NOT flattering on anyone!
See, this matte-jersey dress enhances your shape with comfort and ease.
If you see the world through
gi-normous frames like these,
it is time for an update!
Eyeglasses can be a very hip accessory. Keep looking until you find the pair that make you feel super-cool and a little edgy when you wear them. Then, you will relish having them on! (For more info on selecting the perfect spectacles, check out Ask Andy)
I love a cool cuff, but not with white socks and clogs!
A cuffed or cropped pant should showcase cute shoes and a righteous pedicure, depending on the season. Ix-nay the Ox-say! (Nix the sox!)
Where do I begin? Thick, chunky, oversized, shapeless, floppy cable-knit sweaters are a fashion crime against your figure! This sweater would make Kate Moss look like the Michelin Man! It might be cold out, but there is NO excuse for this!
Thinner, fine gauge sweaters can offer the same amount of warmth when layered with a soft, body conscious undershirt. The combo will give you a much more polished and figure flattering look!
Even the best arms look like shapeless sausages in a binding short-sleeve that is cut straight across the fullest part of the arm.
A solid colored T-Shirt with a full cap sleeve that’s cut at an angle creates the illusion of muscle tone and offers a longer, leaner looking arm.
This is a tough one for me because I know many ladies who engage in the frightening practice of wearing white pumps... often with suntan hosiery. (Gulp!) So, here goes... White pumps are EVIL!!!! They over power everything you wear with them, pull focus to your feet and almost always look cheap, cheap, cheap!
A great silver pump or sling-back is a modern option that will look gorgeous with all of your summer whites and much more!
If we can see your toes... We should not see your hose! 'Nuf said!
Ladies, let's wear sandals with painted toes that do not hang over and touch the ground, nor heels that spill over the back. Camouflage less-than-perfect legs with a shimmer lotion, sunless tanner or my personal fav, spray-on leg shellac!
Ladies, listen up... Pleats were created so that men would have a place to comfortably put their golf balls while on the course. So, if you have no need for golf balls, you have no need for high waisted, crotch bunching, hip widening, pleated shorts.
No matter your size, you want to apply the same slimming principles of great fitting trousers to your shorts! A flat front, straight leg, just below the waist with a WIDE waist band and possible front slant pockets look best on everyone!
Just like "Jeannie" pants and jelly shoes, it is time to retire the scrunchy... I suggest that you gingerly release them into the trash so that they may run free and join other scrunchies in the big scrunchy pile in the sky.
Great modern ponytails are easy to create with just a fabric covered elastic. The key is to have height at the crown and keep the ponytail at about ear level.
President Bush stands with members of the Northwestern University women's lacrosse team at the White House. Notice that four of the nine women in the front row were wearing flip-flop sandals. Think about it ladies, we show our respect for an occasion, by the height of our heels. Meeting the most powerful leader in the free world deserves at least an inch or two!... I mean com'on!
I recognize that opinions on this open-toe faux pas tend to differ by generation, however, had those heels been elevated and captured in a polished feminine pump, I doubt there would have been such a fuss!
Okay, okay, okay... they are comfortable... but they are also the ugliest clunky man shoes in the world? How are you supposed to feel like a beautiful woman in these?
Step into the 21st century with sleek, de-clunk-ified, urban sneakers. They are cute, comfy and will help you walk with a Cents of Style (wink)!
We all have a version of this "comfortable", black, clingy, rear enlarging, thought-I-was-camouflaging skirt hanging in our closet. Hmmmm, if we all band together and surrender these horrible fabric tubes we could fashion a tarp large enough to block the sun and save the world from global warming!!! Whataya think?
A knee length A-Line skirt that falls freely from the largest part of the hip is the most flattering silhouette on everyone. Remember, there is nothing more comfortable than looking fabulous!
Over plucked, dislocated, misshaped, and/or drawn on clown-brows are a MAJOR beauty NO NO!
Perfect brows are beauty magic! Eyebrows should widen and highlight your eyes, frame and slim your face as well as add subtle character to your expressions. (For brow instruction check out ASK ANDY)
A capri pant has a tapered leg that narrows at the calf. This cut structurally makes your bottom look like it is exploding up from your ankles! Who needs that?
A cropped pant falls cleanly from the largest part of your bottom and crops just below the fullest part of your calf. This cut is much more flattering, deemphasizing your bottom and elongating your legs!